Omfg I was sitting in a room with a bunch of my aunts, uncles and cousins and my grandma had this weird smile on her face so I asked her what was up and she just looked at me and said “everyone in this house is alive thanks to my vagina”
We had a guy who was fired a while ago because he was arrested for punching a cop. He still hangs out with one of my coworkers sometimes. I honestly don’t know how she does it. He meander in today, still drunk from the night before and maybe then some. He immediately starts drunkenly begging for her forgiveness from things he said last night and starts talking about how great my ass looks.
Why do these things happen to me?
Today I’m going to dress how I want to. Even though my mom looks at me like I’m a disappointment and comments on the fact that I wear a thong “makes people wonder”. Its not their job to wonder. Its not your job to judge me by what I wear, what I’m comfortable in. Its my job to dress in a way that makes me happy and feel good about myself. Its my body.
someone told me once that shooting stars are really just angels throwing away their cigarettes before God could catch them smoking
I knew you were tribble with you walked in.
so shame on me now
warped me to places no man has been
and you beamed me down
now kirk’s lying on the cold hard ground
Tribble. Tribble. Tribble.
This is the greatest thing I’ve seen all day
- Me: *throws book seductively onto bed*
- Me: *leaps passionately onto bed after book*
a friendly reminder:
don’t hang out with people that make you feel bad about yourself
Please. Do et
no but women are so badass okay
because there will inevitably come a point in every woman’s life where she wakes up in a pool of her own blood and her reaction will be dammit now i have to do laundry
that is some suave superhero shit and you won’t ever be able to convince me otherwise
pick up line: please
Legit how my boyfriend first got me into bed. No lie.